True Heart is Not Infatuation
January 12, 1985 Dharma Talk by Dainin Katagiri Roshi
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Katagiri Roshi: In the Lotus Sutra, Chapter 25, it says:
If there be countless hundred thousand myriad kotis of living beings suffering from pain and distress who hear of this Bodhisattva Regarder of the Cries of the World, and with all their mind call upon his name, the Bodhisattva Regarder of the Cries of the World will instantly regard their cries, and of them will be delivered.
– From The Threefold Lotus Sutra, translated by Bunno Kato.
This is Buddha’s answer to the question made by the Bodhisattva named Infinite in this chapter. (Transcriber’s Note: The translation says “Infinite Thought,” but here Katagiri Roshi just says “Infinite.”)
The discussion goes between Buddha and the Bodhisattva named Infinite. This is a very interesting point, because the discussion goes between the Buddha and a Bodhisattva named Infinite, [about] Avalokiteshvara, which is the symbol of compassion. In English Avalokitshvara is, here it says, “Regarder of the Cries of the World.” But I want to say this is “[The] Cries [of] Regarding the Human World.”
When you see very closely the human world, the human mind, very naturally a very deep sound – not a cry; “cry” [here] means a very deep sound, a voice. It’s kind of a voice, but it’s voiceless. A voiceless voice is there, in the bottom of the human heart – wherever you may be, whatever you experience. So whatever you have, whatever lifestyle you follow, everywhere – if you are right there, immediately you can see… even though you cannot see, you are present right in the middle of [a] very deep sound.
You cannot evaluate it at a certain “price” – so called “it is good,” or “it is sad,” or “it is pleased mind,” or “pleasant feeling” or “unpleasant feeling.” You cannot evaluate it at a certain price.
So that is [that] you are there, whatever kind of situation you may be in. Always. Right in the middle of success, right in the middle of failure, right in the middle of good person, right in the middle of nothing. Whatever you do – you can see, you are there. Even if you don’t see it, your life still cries.
So this is named Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva, the cries of regarding the world and human life. That is all of us – not the particular person or bodhisattva whom Buddhism emphasizes. All of us; you are Avalokiteshvara.
So very naturally, everyone is present right in the middle of that situation. That’s why you can learn many things: about good, about bad, about neutral, about suffering, about pleasant feeling, about unpleasant feeling. Emptiness, compassion, and kindess – you can really learn.
This conversation goes between the Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara and the Bodhisattva Infinite. So this Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva, the Cries of Regarding the World, tries to talk with not a particular person, [but] Infinite, a Bodhisattva called Infinite. It’s very interesting. Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva is always focusing not on particular things, not [praying] for the satisfaction of human desire; not pointing out a particular situation, not pointing out a particular experience. Avalokiteshvara is always focusing on Infinite. Because this is all of us: Infinite.
So, you have to listen to the voice from the Infinite. This is the basis of your existence.
Well, philosophically we can explain [this], psychologically we can explain [this]. That is Buddhist psychology – Abhidharmakosha, we can say. Or, philosophically we can say emptiness.
Well, we can explain; but explanation is secondary. The most important point is, day by day, we have to be there, and we have to grasp it, steadily, with your whole body and mind. That means you have to live there.
So, no voice. Actually, no voice. But, voiceless voice is there.
Sometimes you scream. Sometimes nothing to say. But, whatever you say, no cries or cries: there is always something; a voiceless voice, cryless cry, there. That is very deep.
For instance, if you see your suffering, and then you say, “This is my suffering”; then you can feel good, and sometimes you don’t feel good. Whatever you say, we are cheated by the words, so-called, “I am suffering.” Because if you say “this is my suffering,” you sit on the chair of suffering. In other words, you are licking your own tail with [a thorn stuck in it].
But licking your tail is very interesting, because that is your tail; no excuse. So if you lick your tail with a thorn [stuck in it], it’s a pretty good feeling. You know, not boring. You can always get stimulation, and something happens there. Blood comes from your tongue, and also you feel pleasant through licking your tail with a thorn.
So, we say, “This is my suffering, this is my suffering.” And then, do you understand your suffering? No.
If I say, “Do you [understand your suffering]?” and if you say “Yes” – how much do you understand? [Can you] show it? You cannot show it. Can you say [something] about your suffering? Nothing to pin down.
Strictly speaking, nothing to pin down on the suffering; you are continually saying, “This is my suffering, this is my suffering”. Nothing.
So, that’s the voiceless voice is always there. Nothing to say, but suffering there. But that suffering is very vague. It’s vague, but you experience it actually, that’s why you have to express it – with words, with your mouth, with your body, with your mind. That’s why you cry, that’s why you say [something], that’s why you struggle with your body.
But whatever you say, there is nothing to say about suffering. What is the real suffering? Nothing.
So that’s really quiet. [That is] the nature of the suffering which is called Avalokiteshvara. When you sit down there, when you are present there, you become Avalokiteshvara. And then you can listen to the voiceless voice.
But that is called emptiness – philosophically. It’s not “empty,” it’s really something functioning. [It’s] very vital. No one escapes.
So, that is Bodhisattvas always talking about human life, human suffering: they’re discussing with Bodhisattva so-called Infinite. That’s an interesting point. You have to talk about your suffering, your human life, with whom? Not a particular person. Constantly you have to continue to talk about this with Bodhisattva Infinite. It means open up; open up yourself to whatever your mind says, whatever your spirit says, whatever Buddha says, whatever a certain deity mentioned to you, or whatever a devil says to you. Anyway open up, open up yourself to whatever situation you may be [in]. That means continually to talk about your life with Infinite Bodhisattva.
This is you.
In other words, practically, don’t stay with the burden, or suffering, or pleasure, whatever it is, for long. No. You have to take care of it, every day, because it happens. It appears; that’s why you have to take care of it. But you cannot stay long with it. So you cannot give a blow to [yourself] constantly, you can’t feel always guilty, or you can’t always feel good. No. Nothing to say. Constantly open up to whatever situation you may be [in], and talk about it with Infinite Bodhisattva.
That is called Buddha, [or] Avalokiteshvara.
So, that is compassion; that’s why this is a symbol of compassion. You are there; constantly you are there. We are there. We are doing there. That’s why you have to do it. Regardless of whether you understand or not, please do it. Okay?
But we don’t do it, because our head comes first, and judges, evaluates, and puts down others, pretty easily. But at that time, you cannot talk about human beings, the human world, with Infinite Bodhisattva. No.
But you talk about human life with a particular person. You feel good. Or, you talk about human beings, the human world, in terms of a particular area, so-called philosophy, psychology, et cetera. Not Infinite.
So constantly you have to talk about it with Infinite Bodhisattva. This is a very interesting point in this chapter.
But if you read the Lotus Sutra Chapter 25, you don’t understand it. [It kind of seems like] utilitarianism, because if you chant the name of Amitabha, you are saved from all suffering. But, please don’t misunderstand this one. Okay? If you read this idealistically, you never understand it. But please read this directly connected with human life which is alive. That is you.
What do I mean? “With all our mind, call upon the Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara, and then Avalokiteshvara saves you from human suffering.” What do we mean by this?
You have to constantly open up yourself to all situations. You cannot evaluate your life at a certain price.
We are always evaluating your life and others’ lives at a certain price, constantly. That’s why you have to see your life and others’ life from a completely different world, where you cannot evaluate your life, others’ life, at a certain price. No. Otherwise, you don’t understand human life; you don’t understand life and death.
Here it says, “… with all their mind call upon his name, Bodhisattva Regarder of the Cries of the World, will instantly regard their cries and all of them will be delivered.” What I want to tell you is, what [does it] mean by “with all their mind?”
Well, “with all their mind,” maybe we can say “with wholehearted devotion,” wholeheartedly, or a single-minded absorption. To do something with a single-minded absorption, or wholehearted devotion. In Japanese we say shikan. But I want to talk about [what shikan is].
So, chant the name of Avalokiteshvara, or chant the Triple Treasure, with all your mind: wholeheartedly, with one-pointed devotion, or wholehearted absorption.
So, I say sometimes, “Do your best.” But what do I mean, “do your best?” Or to do something with single-minded devotion; what do I mean? That means you have to do your best to accomplish [something] without looking around. You just concentrate on one thing.
But still there is a question: “What do you mean?” Because everyone can do it in, a sense. You can take care of your religion, you can take care of your professional job, you can take care of your own personal life, and you can study philosophy, psychology, if you want. Anyway you can do it. Particularly, if you want to believe in Christianity or Buddhism, you can believe it. How do you believe? You should have faith. What do you mean by faith? You should do your best to believe, or to do something, religiously. So, what do you mean by this?
Well generally speaking, maybe I can say it like this: [to] do your best to believe in the religion, or to practice religion with a single-minded devotion, means a certain degree how much you are infatuated with. Infatuated? [He chuckles] That means how much you are crazy about it. Do you understand?
In a good sense, if you become crazy about something, under certain circumstances, particularly in favorable conditions, it becomes good. But under unfavorable conditions, becoming crazy about something turns into the devil.
Well, look at the religions in the human world.
When you understand the term single-minded devotion, it seems to be good. You get [used to] using that term in your daily life, but it’s very dangerous in a sense. You should pay attention once more. What do you mean?
So, if I say “do your best with your whole-heartedness,” and then you say, “Yes, sir, I understand it.” So, [you] constantly do it. Then you become crazy – about Buddhism, about zazen [he laughs], about human life. And then, if you become crazy about the religion in a good sense, is that all right? No suffering? Still suffering. Still you don’t understand why you do this.
So, it seems to me that generally speaking, the “do your best with single-minded devotion” is a hint. No, there is a kind of a certain degree or certain intention, how much you are crazy about something. That’s a general meaning. Okay? So, you can use it in any time, under favorable conditions or unfavorable conditions. In a good sense or in a bad sense, you can do it. It’s always there.
But, spiritual life is not something to be over-infatuated with. All right? Because, you don’t like [to be] brainwashed, do you? You always say, “I want to do this. I don’t want to do that!” You always make a choice; emphasizing self-consciousness, always. So if you are completely over-infatuated with believing in something, you become crazy. And then we say, “That is faith.” I don’t think so! [He chuckles.] It’s pretty dangerous.
But generally speaking, I don’t think to do something with wholehearted devotion is to be over-infatuated with something. Okay?
Next: We do zazen. Okay? So, when you do zazen, our practice, so-called zazen, shikantaza is to do zazen with wholeheartedness. In other words, with the practice of mindfulness, you just concentrate on. So, from this point, to sit in zazen with wholeheartedness means to arrange the noisy mind to a calm mind. Bring your various patterns of noisy mind into one quiet state of human mind.
But if you practice like this, there are still questions. Because when you do zazen, you try to make your mind calm; the more you try to make your mind calm, the more you can see that your mind becomes noisy!
So, what do you mean? To concentrate on doing zazen with wholeheartedness. So to sit in zazen with wholeheartedness means to bring your mind into one quiet mind? Or one-pointed devotion? Focusing on just one. Taking care of breathing. Is that is real meaning of wholeheartedness?
It’s pretty hard to say, because practically you can experience, it’s not exactly.
So from this point, the meaning of the wholeheartedness in Buddhism is not the talking about a certain degree, or implication [of] how much you can collect noisy mind in peace and harmony, or how much you can arrange noisy mind in [a] peaceful and harmonious state of your life. It’s not degree; it’s not a psychological degree, it’s not the psychological hint or suggestion [for] human life. Because, if you understand wholeheartedness as a psychological degree, or psychological hint or suggestion of human life, when you do something, at that time, I told you before, it means to do your best, with wholeheartedness. Is that nothing but the implication of a degree or intention, how much you are, well, crazy about? Or is it nothing but talking about psychological degree or suggestions, how much you can focus on your object? Both are not right, because if you do it, lots of questions come up.
Because wholeheartedness or wholeheartedly is not an adverb. Okay?
You say, “I do it, I sit in zazen with wholeheartedness.” At that time, a state of wholehearted devotion is something objectified. So, it’s nothing but a kind of adverb you are looking at. But in Buddhism, we are talking about wholeheartedness which is exactly you; no gap between. So wholeheartedness is [the] subject.
But we don’t deal with it.
But if I say [that] “wholeheartedness is exactly you” means to do something without looking around, that is not talking about a psychological pattern, psychological hint, you can feel good. No, it’s not a psychological degree or hint. All right? If you’re talking about a psychological hint or degree how much you can concentrate on, at that time you can experience many things: feeling good, feeling bad. So always up and down, up and down. So, your zazen will never be stable, peaceful. No; your life is always up and down, up and down, because you deal with human life just according to the psychological pattern, psychological hint, psychological degree, how much you concentrate on one thing. It’s not wholeheartedness, because you’re still creating a gap and dealing with yourself in terms of so-called wholeheartedness that is nothing but an adverb.
If you deal with your life with [some] adverb, so-called wholeheartedly, at that time you’re always practicing something in exchange for a [prayer] for satisfaction of human desires. Because if you do something, and then I can get something – that’s what I want. I am suffering, that’s why I want to escape from this. If you do zazen, you can escape from suffering; that’s why you do this. Always there is a kind of [prayer].
So, in exchange of [prayer] for satisfaction of human desire, you practice it. That is [that] you always deal with zazen, or you. At that time you never have a chance to listen to the voiceless voice, which is very deep. No way.
But the voiceless voice, so-called the bottom of your human life, is exactly nothing to measure with your yardstick. No way! Nothing. All you have to do is just be there.
Whatever you think – cry or not cry, or scream or not scream, or smile or not smile – whatever you do, it doesn’t hit the mark. So, you just be there.
If you just be there, are you comfortable? No. It’s not comfortable. If you don’t feel comfortable, why don’t you get out from this? But you cannot get out from this. So, you have to be there.
So finally, nothing to say.
In Buddhism, “chant the name of Avalokiteshvara with all your mind.” Mind is not talking about, I told you, psychological degree or hint, how much your mind is concentrated, what kind of experience you feel from that concentration, et cetera. No. It doesn’t mean this.
So, in Buddhism, the mind which is transmitted from generation to generation is that all sentient beings are one mind. One mind: mind is all sentient beings. This is what Buddhist scripture says, alright? It’s a little bit difficult to understand, but this mind – mind transmitted from generation to generation – is that all is one, one is all.
So, what do I mean? The mind which is all is one, one is all – that is called infinite. If you say “this is my mind,” it’s a blur; immediately you can make it a blur, so it’s extended.
So, if it becomes infinite, at that time, mind infinite is nothing to get, but it’s alive with you.
Just like a president of the United States, so-called Ronald Reagan. Ronald Reagan’s name is known well so much in the whole universe. [He laughs.] I don’t know if it’s good or bad, but anyway, in many ways his name is pretty famous. Popular. You can criticize him, but his name is there. So in other words, his name is infinite. The more your name, or your presence, your life is infinite, wherever you may go, it appears. Everyone knows.
[…] That’s why, please open up yourself to whatever kind of situation you may be [in]. But most of people are scared to do this, because people feel themselves diminishing, shrinking. [He laughs.] I don’t think so. If you become, if you open yourself up to whatever situation you may be [in], it’s called infinite. It’s universal. If you become universal, wherever you may go, everyone knows.
That is so-called mind. Alright? Mind.
That mind is not talking about psychological degree or hint from which you can experience many kind of feelings. No. Completely beyond this. You cannot measure it, because it’s the universe. It’s big.
If it’s big, is is blurry? No. It’s there. Wherever you may go, you are. Everyone knows.
But people are so scared about this. That’s why most people try to shut themselves off. So, finally, no one knows. Wherever you may go, you are isolated, because no one knows. Because you’re very narrow understanding, always shutting off yourself from the world, from the people. And then you feel good, but at that time, practically speaking, it’s rather be reversed. You are isolated.
That’s why mind transmitted from generation to generation is that all is one, one is all. That is called infinite.
So that infinite is what? Infinite mind is very big, so it’s pretty difficult to know. But it’s there, like a president of the United States, [as] I told you. So, that means you have to see the universal mind.
When you do gassho, there is a universal [mind]. If you do gassho, so-called form of gassho, you have to see the universal mind. But you don’t see it. You’re always criticizing or talking about the form of gassho, according to your yardstick, so-called cultural background. So that’s why you hate it. Okay? [He laughs.] Of course, it’s natural. But strictly speaking, well, you have to understand this point. Not only Buddhism; this is your life.
The universal state of the mind is pretty big, so you cannot see it, practically speaking. But it appears, always. Wherever you may go, whatever you do, here it is! That’s why if you do gassho, there is a universal mind. Universal means open up. Open up to gassho; completely give up yourself to gassho. But you don’t want to, because we get used to looking at ourselves always in terms of a certain degree, or hint, so-called cultural background, your ideas, your preconceptions. So, it’s pretty hard to do this.
Anyway, that’s why, without any form or formality, you cannot see anything. That’s why in a koan the Zen Master says, “See the universe in your cup.” And then the monk tries to see the universe in the cup, but he sees no universe in the cup, so he throws it away. And then the Zen Master says, “Oh, poor tea!” Because if the Zen Master says, “Please see the universe in the cup,” you always see the form of the universe, form of the cup. But a form of cup is very small. How can the big universe get into it? No way.
[Tape change.]
So, anyway, the universal state of the mind is pretty big, so it cannot get into the small form, intellectual sense. But actually, if it becomes vast, wherever you may go, it appears. In the cup, in the microphone, in the gassho, in your words, in your behavior, there is the universe.
We have to learn this, okay? But not “have to”; you want to. Consciously or unconsciously, you want to. That’s why you make every possible effort to live in this world. That’s why you want to build up peace, a peaceful world, and you want to have a good friend. No one [wants to have a] bad friend.
So, everyone wants to have a good friend because, why? Because you want to live in peace and harmony, unconsciously or consciously. That means, through [being friends], through the shaking hands, I told you before, through shaking hands, what do you want? You want something researching the form of shaking hand? It’s ridiculous! Don’t you think so? If you say “good morning,” what do you mean? Are you interested in the meaning of good morning? Sure, we should know, but unconsciously or consciously, strictly speaking, you want to have something more than the form of good morning, something more than the words. So-called peace and harmony: peaceful relation between people and friends.
How? Friendliness, kindness, compassion – how do you know? Because it’s vast. There is no way to know. But only through the form of shaking hands, through the greeting, so-called good morning, there is a real sense of kindness, compassion, and peaceful relationship there.
So, how do you do this? That’s why, all you have to do is to shake hands, with wholeheartedness, beyond psychological hint, or suggestions or degree, how much you feel, what kind of experience you have. Whatever you feel or you don’t feel, anyway, [shake hands] with people, standing in the world where you cannot evaluate anything at a certain price. Just be there and shake hands.
That’s what you [need]. Total absorption.
That is called “with all their mind.” And then you call upon the Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva. That is exactly compassion. Because you open up yourself to that situation – so-called form of chanting, form of gassho, form of walking – you can open up to [them], beyond measuring your life or measuring your behavior with your yard stick. Anyway, do it. That is really peaceful.
That’s it!
I have to talk [about this] every Saturday, regardless of whether I like it or not, regardless of whether Katagiri is a bad boy or good boy, good teacher – it doesn’t matter. All I have to do is to convey Buddha’s teaching – not my teaching, Buddha’s teaching – to you, whoever I am.
Where should I stand up? Should I stand up in my feeling, in my experience? No! If I stand up in my territory, I cannot do it.
If so, should I be proud of myself, so-called “I am Buddha?” No, I can’t do it.
So where should I stand up?
I have to stand up completely beyond measuring my life with my yard stick, and then sit down there, and just talk. That is called just talk. “Just talk” is not just talk; it’s pretty profound.
That’s why I have to talk about this, the meaning of “all your mind,” meaning of “whole-hearted devotion.” What do I mean? You have to think carefully, you have to consider again and again. What do I mean? Because most people become crazy about this: creating good one, creating bad one, and finally good one and bad one fight each other. Because [we are] very stubborn, because people experience something by over-infatuation of religion, believing in religion, believing in their own experience, or their own career of the life, personal and professional job. Always fighting.
Practice is simple: I always say, sit in zazen with wholeheartedness, just do it. But please, once again, you have to consider again and again: what does it mean? Otherwise you become a fanatic; your religion becomes fanatic. Do you understand? Fanatic; crazy.
Fanatic religion is in a sense very powerful, very powerful. Because [he laughs,] it washes your brain, exactly. And then human beings love so much washing their own brains. Intellectually they don’t want that, but actually, on the other hand, they love [it] so much. “Please, [wash my brain].” [Laughter.]
Because [there is] lots of suffering; they don’t know how to get rid of it. And then there is someone who has a very strong power, so-called fanatic religion, you know? So I always tell you, “Believe it, believe it. If you don’t believe this, you become crazy.” And then you’re scared, and then you immediately follow me: “Katagiri, you are a fantastic religious leader!” I don’t think so. Don’t believe me in that way, okay?
I don’t teach you such religions. But practice – practically, every day, how you take care of that human life – is simple. So I always say do it, do your best with your wholeheartedness, with your true heart. Okay? But still, you have to be a true adult, not a baby adult. If you become a baby adult, it’s pretty hard to handle it. Do you understand? “Baby adult” means, well, you are straightforward, but in a sense, it’s crazy. If I say, “Please believe this,” and then you believe it, just like a baby, but your brain is completely blind. That is not a real adult. Your brain, your heart, your consciousness must be clear. But nevertheless, it doesn’t mean to blow it up, blow it up constantly; self-consciousness, stubbornness. No. You must be very magnanimous. For this, you have to train your consciousness. You have to study, you have to [deepen] your life, through listening to the Buddha’s teaching and practicing constantly. That is most important, alright?
I’m going to San Francisco on Monday morning. But please practice zazen and your life regardless of whether I am here or not, okay? [He chuckles.] Katagiri is not there, so: “Why not sleep [in]?” Katagiri comes back: “Let’s go!” That is pretty nice, because it’s better than nothing… [Laughter.] But it is the kind of practice according to the sense of give and take. You know? Karagiri comes back: “Let’s do it!” You know? Karagiri goes away: “Why not sleep?” [He laughs.] That is always measuring your life with your yardstick. Feeling good, feeling bad. But real practice means to deepen your life. Anyway, deepen.
Deepening your life is exactly understanding your life and others’ life; that is deepening. Not only the understanding your life. Deepening your life is to understand you and others. That is a practice. In order to do this, our practice is constantly going, regardless of whether I am here or not, regardless of whatever kind of situation you may be in, we have to do it.
Sitting at your home is fine, and coming here and sitting in cold weather, it’s hard. Sure. But if your practice is swayed away by this feeling, at time what kind of practice you do? Your practice is always going on by your measurement, yardstick. At that time you don’t have any chance to listen to the voiceless voice from the bottom of your life.
When I was at Eiheiji monastery, it was really cold. But whatever [the] situation, I decided, “I want to do this; I will do it.” I always did it. Even though people called [me] crazy, [still] I wanted to do it. It’s not [about being] proud of myself; I’m not talking about my life, how proud I am. No, I’m not talking about that. But please remember: completely beyond your judgment or evaluation, if you practice like this, very naturally, your life deepens. No other way.
So it’s pretty hard, because nothing to pin down. Coming here to practice here in the cold weather: it’s ridiculous! Because sometimes you catch a cold. Sleeping in your bed: it’s better! Comfortable. And sitting on your bed, it’s comfortable. Why do you have to come here? Why is it you have to come here to sit?
I don’t say you have to. The real meaning of practice is just come here and sit down, beyond “you have to” or “you mustn’t do.” I am not talking about that. If you want to practice, please take care of the real meaning of practice, beyond your yardstick.
That is very quiet practice. No one [talks] about the deepening your depths of your life, which is developing from moment. No one says so; no one talks about that. Because it’s pretty hard to see.
But people are always barking at you, in terms of a sense of give and take. So, always people barking at you. It’s ridiculous. Why don’t you practice on your own? Why don’t you sleep more? Because if you sleep enough, it’s pretty good for your health, pretty good to keep your body in good shape. Why don’t you run around the lake, you know, instead of sitting here, breathing not good air? [He chuckles.] Twenty people sitting here, and during sesshin, you can see the not good air in this room. So why do you sit down for seven days with pain, you know? It’s ridiculous! I don’t want to suggest you to do this.
But I am not talking about that practice, judging in terms of psychological hint or suggestions – no. I want to talk about the practice coming from the bottom of your life, which has voiceless voice, nothing to say. But it’s always saying to you, because nowhere to go.
So, please continue practicing in that way.
Buddhist practice is, in a common sense, making you bored; but while you feel bored, still you are looking at your life in terms of a sense of give and take. Wholeheartedness is exactly you; at that time, no space to feel bored. That’s why I said wholeheartedness is exactly the subject, you yourself. Not adverb, not adjective. Not verb; not a word. You must be, exactly.
That practice is very quiet practice. Touching to the core of existence, just like a sound of a stream, which you can hear regardless of whether you close your eyes or not, regardless of you cover your ears or not, sound of stream or river is constantly going. You have to stand up there. Just practice there.
I will be here middle of April. I pray for your practice, for your life.